Your feelings are your reality’s architect.
Emotional distress has been on the rise leaving many people unsure of where to turn. Many of us were never taught how to express or process our emotions, and as a result, childhood and adolescent struggles were often dismissed—largely because the adults around us didn’t know how to navigate emotions either. "Negative" emotions were taught to be pathologized, suppressed, and ignored entirely in favour of positive emotions (happiness, peacefulness, calmness), or in favour of rationality.
But emotions are now creeping up everywhere, from the rising rate of mental health issues, increased substance abuse, to social and political unrest — they can no longer be shoved away.
Emotions are an important part us. They’re what quantum physics refers to as “qualia”—the subjective experiences that emerge as our nervous system interacts with the material world around us. Qualia encompass thoughts, feelings, images, and sensations. Understanding how these elements work together is the key to aligning with one’s core self, enriching one’s relationship with both the inner and outer world, and living with greater meaning, fulfillment, and engagement.
The Gravity of our Emotions
Still, we often talk about emotions (anger, sadness, or fear) as being “heavy,” but what does that mean?
Recently, I came across a fascinating article by Chris Rackliffe titled The Gravity of Our Emotions, in which he introduces a model (rooted in Newtonian theory) that suggests emotions may follow similar principles to physical gravity. He argues that just as physical gravity is influenced by mass and distance, emotional weight is shaped both by our personal expectations and our willingness to feel. According to his formula for emotional gravity (F = GEe/w²), the greater our expectations (E and e) and the lower our willingness (w) to feel, the heavier our emotions become. So, when we resist our emotions, we increase their intensity, just like resisting gravity increases strain on the body.
My personal descent into emotional gravity happened back in 2016, and lasted several years.
My Own Descent into Emotional Gravity
I once went through a period where I felt completely disconnected from my emotions.
On the surface, I had a great life—a loving relationship, academic success—but something felt off. Eventually, I ended my relationship, sensing that I needed something different. What followed was seven years of navigating a new and foreign world of online dating, feeling more lost than ever. Looking back, I realize I had set impossibly high expectations for my life and relationships while refusing to fully acknowledge my emotions. By suppressing how I truly felt, I made my sadness and isolation even heavier. Rackliffe explains, “Life feels heavy and confining for those who try to defy and resist the natural order of things.” That was exactly my experience. I was caught in a cycle of resisting emotions instead of letting them move through me.
Lightening the Load: Expect Less, Feel More
So how do we make our emotions feel lighter?
Expect Less: Be open to possibilities beyond what you think should happen. The more we rigidly define how life must unfold, the more we suffer when it doesn’t meet our expectations.
Feel More: Emotions are temporary. The more we allow ourselves to feel them, the less control they have over us. “This too shall pass” isn’t just a saying—it’s a truth about emotional energy.
Gratitude: The Antidote to Emotional Gravity
Rackliffe suggests that gratitude helps counteract emotional heaviness. “Grief is heavy, but gratitude is light.” When we cultivate gratitude, we shift our perspective, easing the weight of difficult emotions and increasing our ability to feel without resistance.
Thought vs. Emotion: Two Ways of Experiencing Life
We experience reality in two primary ways—through thought and through emotion. Understanding the difference can help us shift how we engage with the world.
Experiencing Through Thought: When we experience life through thought, we analyze, label, and categorize everything. Thought-based experience creates a sense of separation—we observe life rather than fully engaging with it. This mode is useful for problem-solving, but it can also disconnect us from the raw reality of our emotions.
Experiencing Through Emotion: Emotion-based experience is immediate and embodied. Instead of analyzing, we feel. Our nervous system reacts, our body responds, and we are fully present in the moment. Emotions allow us to immerse ourselves in life rather than just interpreting it.
The Difference Between Emotions and Feelings
While we often use "emotion" and "feeling" interchangeably, they are distinct processes. Emotions are raw, physiological responses to stimuli—they arise automatically, signaling shifts in our internal or external environment. Feelings, on the other hand, emerge when we process emotions in the limbic system and attach meaning to them. In other words, emotions are immediate and instinctive, while feelings are shaped by perception, thought, and personal experience.
For example, if someone unexpectedly startles you, you might feel a surge of fear (an emotion). But how you interpret that fear—whether as excitement, danger, or annoyance—depends on the meaning your mind assigns to it (a feeling). This distinction is crucial because our perceptions, beliefs, and past experiences influence our feelings, which in turn shape our reality.
What Quantum Physics Reveals About Emotion and Reality
Quantum physics suggests that reality is shaped by perception. This has profound implications for how we understand thought, emotion, and consciousness.
The Observer Effect: In quantum mechanics, simply observing a particle changes its behavior. This aligns with the idea that our focus shapes our reality—what we pay attention to influences what we experience.
Energy and Vibration: Everything is energy vibrating at different frequencies. High-frequency emotions (like love and joy) resonate with expansive, coherent energy patterns, while low-frequency emotions (like fear and shame) create contraction and resistance. This means our emotional state actively shapes our experience of reality.
Wave-Particle Duality: Just as light can behave as both a wave and a particle, human experience can be fluid (emotion) or structured (thought). When we rely only on thought, we collapse reality into rigid interpretations. Emotion allows for a more expansive, interconnected experience.
Aligning Thought and Emotion to Shape Reality
Thoughts direct focus, determining what we expect to see. Emotions amplify energy, influencing what we attract and resonate with.
Quantum physics suggests that the most powerful reality shifts happen when thought and emotion align—when we not only think about a desired reality but feel it as though it already exists. This coherence between thought and feeling creates a strong energetic imprint, increasing the probability of that reality materializing.
The Takeaway
Emotions aren’t obstacles—they are part of how we experience and shape reality. Instead of resisting or suppressing them, we can learn to work with them, allowing them to guide us toward deeper self-awareness and alignment.
By understanding emotional gravity, shifting from thought-based experience to emotional presence, and recognizing the quantum nature of consciousness, we can transform our relationship with emotions—moving from feeling burdened by them to feeling empowered by them.
